The Incredible Story of Melissa Ohden, Who Survived an Abortion, Found Her Birth Mother, and Forgave Her (12 photos)

Melissa Ohden’s book,

You Carried Me: A Daughter's Memoir

, tells a powerful story of forgiveness and reconciliation. The memoir details a harrowing story of alienation within a family—and the profound love of complete strangers.





Life Without Being Born

We tend to think that every human life begins with birth, but that isn't always the case. Melissa Ohden came into the world as the result of a botched saline abortion. At the insistence of her nurse mother, a 19-year-old college student ended her pregnancy at 31 weeks. On August 29, 1977, she walked out of an Iowa hospital without looking back, believing she had left a dead baby behind.



Melissa Ohden is an American pro-life activist and human rights advocate

Typically, a late-term saline abortion results in a stillbirth, after which medical staff dispose of the tiny body as medical waste. But this time, the procedure failed. The baby survived—a little girl weighing just over two pounds. Covered in tubes, she lay completely alone in the neonatal intensive care unit. No one seemed concerned about her well-being. Almost no one.





In a cruel twist of fate, the nurse on duty that shift was the 19-year-old student’s mother—the very woman who had forced her daughter to terminate the pregnancy. On her orders, the infant was tossed into medical waste to ensure her fragile life ended before it could truly begin. Ultimately, Melissa owed her life not to her family, but to a compassionate health worker. Another nurse, named Mary, heard a faint cry coming from the trash and immediately sounded the alarm.

A Fight for Survival

Melissa Ohden’s story is extraordinary for its outcome. Pediatricians at the Sioux City hospital in Iowa held little hope that the premature infant would survive. The baby suffered from seizures, respiratory distress, and jaundice. Even the most optimistic prognosis predicted developmental delays, hearing loss, and vision problems. Yet against all odds, the little girl held on, growing stronger with each passing day.



Three weeks later, Melissa was transferred to another hospital. Staff quickly realized the baby didn't even have clothes. Caring nurses bought her baby outfits and named her Katie Rose. The infant showed an incredible will to live, nearly recovering completely by three months of age. Though she still lagged slightly behind developmentally, Ron and Linda Ohden adopted her. At the time, the couple had already spent four years raising their daughter Tammy, who had also been adopted as an infant.

A Lifelong Bond

Her adoptive parents showered her with care, and by age five, Melissa was completely healthy. Ron and Linda stayed in touch with Mary, the nurse who had saved the baby's life. As Melissa grew older, she built a close friendship with Mary that spanned decades and meant the world to both of them—after all, back in 1977, Mary was the one who had cared for the tiny survivor.



Her parents never hid the adoption from their daughters. Being close in age, the girls felt like sisters. But during a typical childhood argument, Melissa stumbled upon the horrific truth about her birth. Hearing the words "your parents didn't want you" hit the 14-year-old like a bomb. Her entire world collapsed in an instant.

A Troubled Teen

Ignorance can indeed be bliss. Melissa was overcome by a whirlwind of emotions toward her birth mother—fear, anger, and even guilt over having survived in the first place. Carrying such a heavy emotional burden proved too much for a 14-year-old.



Melissa developed bulimia and spiraled into alcohol abuse and risky sexual behavior. The agonizing thought that she had survived against her birth parents' wishes haunted her constantly. Unaware of their adopted daughter's inner turmoil, her parents watched as she became withdrawn and secretive.



Over time, Melissa found a way to cope with the trauma. She pushed forward with her education and enrolled at the University of South Dakota to study political science. In another strange twist of fate, it later turned out that her birth mother had attended the exact same university—and the grandmother who had demanded the abortion had become a professor there. As a student, Melissa had no idea.

Searching for the Truth

Time doesn't heal everything. Thoughts of her past haunted the 19-year-old student day in and day out. Overcoming her fears, Melissa set out to find her birth parents. Her adoption papers offered no clues, so she traveled to the Sioux City hospital to dig through archival records. Day after day, she combed through old phone directories, newspapers, and yearbooks, desperately searching for any hint about her origins.



Despite constant dead ends, Melissa refused to give up and continued her search for years. One day, while browsing a college yearbook, she noticed a female professor who shared striking facial features with her. At the time, Melissa had no idea of her grandmother's tragic role in her past. Taking a leap of faith, she sent a letter addressing their possible relation. The reply came from her grandfather.

He informed her that her birth had been unwanted and told her that further searching was pointless. He explained that he couldn't help her find her birth mother, as the family had fractured completely and hadn't spoken to their daughter in years. It turned out that Melissa's birth had been the root cause of the estrangement—in rejecting their unborn grandchild, the grandparents had lost their daughter as well.

Long-Awaited Answers

For a while, Melissa set her search aside. She entered a relationship that blossomed into love. Ryan proposed, and soon Melissa had a home and a family of her own. Today, they are raising two daughters, the elder of whom was born in the very same hospital where Melissa survived her birth.



Melissa with her husband

Eventually, her biological family reached out to her. Melissa was 36 when she received a letter from a cousin. He revealed the true story behind her birth, and everything fell into place. At last, Melissa had the answers she had sought for so long.



As a college student, her birth mother was an athlete. Like many female athletes, her menstrual cycle was irregular, which led her to miss the early signs of pregnancy. By the time her pregnancy became obvious, her parents intervened. Opposed to an early marriage, the grandparents demanded a saline abortion over their daughter's desperate protests.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Melissa realized that for years she had been wrong to believe her birth mother didn't want her. In reality, the young woman had succumbed to overwhelming pressure from her parents. Her sister had even tried to intervene, rushing to the hospital, only to be told by a nurse that it was already too late.

Learning the full details of her birth was a shock. Melissa felt deep regret for harboring years of anger toward her birth mother. She also began to wonder how her adoptive parents were able to adopt her without her biological mother's consent. It became clear that someone had forged the signature.



Melissa with her child

A 17-year search culminated in a heartwarming reunion with her biological family. Soon after, Melissa received her first letter from her birth mother. They corresponded for three years before finally building up the courage to meet in person. Both were overwhelmed with complex emotions. When they finally met, no words were spoken at first—mother and adult daughter simply held each other, weeping in silence.

Melissa's mother later confessed that she had lived with crushing guilt over her unborn baby her entire life, completely unaware that her daughter had survived and was raised by an adoptive family. Melissa held no grudge. Instead, she felt deep compassion for what her mother had endured. She also found it in her heart to forgive her grandmother and biological father. Though she never met her grandmother, who had already passed away, Melissa learned she had two younger half-sisters.

Life After

Often, an overwhelming ordeal can give life new meaning, serving as a catalyst for purpose. Today, Melissa stays in close touch with her newfound family. She has already met one of her half-sisters, with plans to meet the other soon.



She also wrote and published a memoir detailing her story. The book resonated with readers, many of whom reached out to share similar experiences. Melissa’s case turned out not to be unique—from time to time, medical workers manage to save and nurse unwanted infants whose mothers underwent abortions.

Melissa Ohden went on to found an organization connecting individuals with similar birth stories. This unique network has grown to include 223 members, mostly Americans. Having mastered the art of forgiveness, Melissa now shares her insights with others, reminding them that forgiveness is the key to freedom from emotional pain.