Why do cigarettes, alcohol, and perfume drive hedgehogs crazy? (5 photos)
99% of the time, a hedgehog behaves perfectly normally. It hides from predators, eats invertebrates, snakes, and mice. Males fight over females, and the females swoon from the abundant attention. But if a hedgehog stumbles upon a cigarette butt, something changes within it. Instead of a timid and wary small predator, it becomes possessed, wheezing, drooling foam, and smearing it all over its back. 
*indescribable sounds of a frantic hedgehog*
Answer: yes, they did. But not because the hedgehogs are poisoned by the toxin and get a frenzied high, but because cigarette butts have a pungent, distinct odor. It is this odor, not the addiction, that triggers the hedgehogs' intense desire to lick the butt and rub the saliva all over themselves. And if there had been another source of strong odor in the place of the cigarette—a fragrant flower, a cotton ball with perfume, or a crab stick—the little predator would have gone into exactly the same frenzy. Which scientists call self-washing or self-lubrication. 
I'm sure about 95% of pet hedgehog owners panic when they see their pet doing this.
Self-washing is a unique behavior characteristic of all hedgehogs, but only hedgehogs. This is partly why we still don't understand its biological benefits, but that doesn't stop scientists from hypothesizing. 
Ugh, just plain clean water. Put me in the ashtray!
According to one hypothesis, hedgehogs' love of strange, strong odors is a factor in their camouflage. After all, if a hedgehog smells not like a hedgehog, but like gasoline, iron, or a pile of feces, then it becomes impossible to locate it by smell. However, such camouflage can also backfire on the hedgehog, as there's always the risk of ingesting parasites or ingesting toxic liquids, of which humanity has invented an awful lot. 
Monster, why did you pour alcohol into my water bowl??? Thank you, though.
Another possibility is that hedgehogs communicate this way. The strong scent serves as a beacon, allowing the secretive animals to find each other during the breeding season, which for common hedgehogs will begin in the coming days. And, importantly, this idea doesn't contradict the previous one! 
I love it when you smell like nail polish...
Well, I like the third theory more than all the others: hedgehogs are driven by... curiosity! They coat themselves in a new scent not for communication or to hide from enemies, but to remember the new scent for the rest of their lives. In the wild, anything unfamiliar is inherently dangerous, and learning a new scent is a surefire way to avoid being stupefied and confused when encountering it later! The only question left is: how can we determine which hypothesis is correct?
