Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed coffins have been released in the US for those "in their early thirties" (6 photos + 1 video)
Category: Interesting photo stories, PEGI 0+
Today, 10:03
American funeral home company Titan Caskets decided that devotion to the beloved franchise should last until death (literally) and announced a line of official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed coffins. It seems capitalism has finally conquered common sense, nailed it in a box, and buried it two meters underground. 
The most beautiful thing about this story is the subtle, katana-like hint from the creators. The original cult animated series about the green four premiered in 1987.
Funeral home marketers sat down, calculated the age of the first viewers, and came to a cynical conclusion: the kids who ran home from school to watch the adventures in the New York sewers were already creaking their joints, racking up loans, and smoothly entering the target audience of funeral services. So to speak, they paved the way for the nostalgia of the last breath.
The funeral home offers grown-up fans the chance to depart into eternity in the signature colors of their favorite characters.
Four models are available: blue for Leonardo fans, red for the cheeky Raphael, purple for smart guys like Donatello, and, of course, cheerful orange for the party animal Michelangelo. The model names directly quote the intro of the legendary cartoon.
So if you were "Cool but Crude" like Raphael in life, you can now prove it to the worms. The coffins come complete with design elements that subtly reference the heroes' melee weapons: nunchucks, sais, and katanas. Apparently, to fend off Shredder at the final trial.
The main thing is to find three more loyal sandbox friends to throw an epic "quadruple funeral." The only unresolved questions are whether pizza will be served at the wake and whether the funeral march will be replaced with the legendary track "Heroes in a Half Shell."
Live long, oldfags, but if you've got a sore lower back, remember—Donatello can wait.
