Loach: lives even in a dried-up puddle (8 photos)

Was 2024 a tough year? Now imagine your whole life being that tough! Meet the self-preservation black belt and I Will Survive Gold Award nominee, Mr. Loach! This vimba is so full that he can even survive in a puddle.





First, tell us a little about yourself? How can you be recognized among other fish in a river or lake?

— I usually try to stay out of sight and sit quietly at the bottom. I specially select a suit to match the color of the algae and silt. It doesn't work as effectively as camouflage pants, but it'll do. And I myself am not that big: now only 20 centimeters, but I think I can grow to 30.



This is approximately how Mister Vyun got to our interview.

— That's an interesting strategy, Mister Vyun! And to be more specific, do you have a specific place to live?

— Specifically, I hatched from an egg in this very river and I don't plan on moving. The risk of becoming someone's snack on the way is too high. But my numerous brothers and sisters can be found all over Europe and Asia. We are not too demanding about the water body, we can settle in a river, lake, pond and even a small swamp.





Dude, we can certainly tolerate anything, but living in compote is too much!

— And now we get to the point! How do you manage to survive in such unfavorable conditions? We heard that loaches can even live in "blooming" water, when all other fish die!

— It's absolutely true. Why do fish die? Two reasons — nothing to breathe and nothing to eat. We, loaches, are not afraid of either of them. Because we breathe not only with gills, like everyone else in the river, but we can also absorb oxygen through our skin and even... intestines.



Thank you, man, for letting the loach breathe some fresh air!

Yes, I'm embarrassed to tell you about this, but when the going gets tough, I swim to the surface and gulp air. My intestines are riddled with many blood vessels — almost like the lungs of you land animals. So the oxygen will be absorbed into the blood, and the gas will come out the other side. Well, you know... They call me Squeaker for this, but I hardly take offense.



Stop telling the joke about the hedgehog and the hole! I don't find it funny!

- What about the second reason, Mister Squeaker, what about food?

- Loach, I'll ask anyway. Yes, food is not a problem for me either. Of course, pizza is not delivered to the bottom of the swamp, but there are plenty of goodies here anyway. Leftovers from someone else's dinner, pieces of seaweed, and even caviar! If you want to live, you'll learn to be an omnivore. That's why fishermen don't like me, they say I destroy all the other fish in the pond. What can I do, that's my nature!



These aren't just antennae, but super-sensitive organs of touch, thanks to which fish find food in muddy water.

— What will happen if, for example, your pond dries up? Then there won't be any food or water at all?

— That's happened before. It's only scary the first time: everyone around you dies, and you just bury yourself even deeper in the silt. Sometimes you have to go two meters underground! It's always damp there, and if you slow down your metabolism as much as possible, you can hold out until the pond fills up again. I know some people tried to crawl across the wet grass to other ponds in the morning, but I don't know how it all ended for them.



Loach can be found right in the mud on dry land. You just have to know where to dig.

— I see. Mister Loach, you must be very lonely? You sit on the bottom, don't swim anywhere, don't disturb the water unnecessarily.

— I only get lonely once a year, when the spawning season comes. On our river, this madness happens in May. But it would be better if everyone lived quietly and peacefully at the bottom. I met one like that, and she immediately said, "Where's my ring? Let me introduce you to my mom! What should we name the girls?" - so I swam back to the bottom. Child support for 38 thousand children does not fit into my survival criteria at all!



- Honey, I'm going to get some bread. - But we're in a swamp... - Then for cigarettes. - But we're in the water... - Damn, I don't even have a normal reason to run away from my family!